It's been quite some time since i've logged onto this thing. Almost forgot all about it I guess. Whew and what a journey it's been since the last entry! AACF leadership's been passed onto the next group. I graduated... thank you thank you! But that whole graduation thing was a photo finish. Just simply too close! It was like one of those Indiana Jones scenes... just barely was able to escape from death (or not graduating in my case i suppose) and for added measure grabbed my hat (i dunno my equivalent in this situation) for style.
So what now? I really don't know. I've been home. Sounds sad already. But it's been interesting. And i'm not just saying that to make myself feel better about the current situation. It's been a relaxing summer... something i always needed. Been visiting friends every now and then... see how they're doing... stuff like that. Been taking care of stuff at home... considering that I never really spent all that much time with my family during the last four years... it's been good and something that was emotionally needed. Sure there have been occassions when I've clashed with family members because of the newly restored "constraint" that the typical post-college person is expected to encounter. But honestly, in light of everything... taking a holistic perspective, it's been rather pleasant.
So onto the next step. Japan should be right around the corner but i dunno... i think it all really depends on how the support raising goes. And things look rather optimistic... but this is all projections... nothing set in concrete. So here I hang right now... waiting for the next step which i know will happen eventually although hopefully it'll start late this september. It's weird. I've realize now that I've always had a current project of some sorts. Obviously, the big one, school, has loomed over my head for a considerable chunk of my life. And in between years... there's always been a quest of some sorts... something I'm doing. But things now... they're different. I'm in between phases... between the college phase, and whatever's supposed to take place after. I know what i'm supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to be preparing myself for Japan. But how i tire from "preparing myself." My impatience has caused me to want the next step now so i can just immerse myself in the situation. I suppose... at the core of it all, I just need to be busy. Not terribly busy as I was in college... but just enough so that I'm not doing something for the future but for the present. And seeing this on the screen now... i see that i'm more in need of preparation than i thought i did.
Come to think about though... in the realm of preparation... i'm somewhat lost. All the training that i've received... has been in regards to when the situation arises... and not before such situations come about. In essence i've never been trained in training. AHh but i have. I trained next year's CORE for Berkeley AACF. Shouldn't i then review what i said and what i "taught" and look at them from the receiving perspective? In essence, practice what i preach? Indeed.