OH man... it's been so long since i've logged onto this thing. So much has happened. Of course, today was my last Sunday service at Kaminoyama. Complete with the whole goodbye thing and farewell message and everything. Anyway, starting with last last Friday... during Oikos Cell Group (Yoshida), there was for the first time in a while a real sense of worship during the entire meeting. I mean you could feel God just leading the group. Anyway, Mrs. Yoshida for the first time said that she's ready, willing, and capable of leading the group! All that time waiting for any glimpse of hope within that group... and it happened all of a sudden in a major way. I'm sure i ranted somewhere in this journal about frustrations i've had with this group... looking for a chance to hand off the group completely to the leader... when she's ready and willing. And after weeks of not seeing it (or maybe not seeing the steps being taken), suddenly one week, one meeting, it was all different. How awesome is God that He would cause change when the time is just right. I mean, it happened in time for me to see it, and I think I've learned some humbling lessons about my own impatience, and how quickly i get frustrated... and what i need to do different. Actually, lemme change that... I know i learned a lot of lessons about my shortcomings. BUt in addition, as a great praise she's ready and willing... the group is in good hands... in the hands of God, and in the hands of Mrs. Yoshida, together. How awesome!
To top it all off... today i gave short "challenge" message. It was on the passage in Revelation where Jesus talks to the church in Ephesus about how they've been doing all these great things and yet they lost their first love and so, they're subject to judgment. Anyway, while i was giving the message, i noticed a guy in the back of the church who i never met before. I mean, in a church as small as the one in Kaminoyama... it's hard not to notice. So, afterwards, the guy comes up to me and says that Ito-sensei's been meeting up with him for the passed 3 years. Not only that, but he was baptized in another church a long while ago, but stopped coming to church. After a while he just pretty much dropped the whole Christianity thing. But Ito-sensei was still coming out to visit him to see how he's been doing... and give a little bible study. So, he comes up to me... i never met him before... but he tells me, "Thank you" because he realized in the middle of the talk that he was straying away from God and His love... and that he needed to repent of his sins so that he could experience God as he did in his past. After hearing that... I was wowed. I didn't really know what to say other than thanks. All i could think was... man, i'm seeing some major fruit... and i have to leave? What's up with that? Oh well... at least I'm able to see the fruit!
Sunday, March 17, 2002
Monday, February 25, 2002
Thursday, February 21, 2002
(From journal: February 21, 2002 10:07 PM)
So I never got around to explaining what I was talking about in my last entry. It was 1:58 AM when I startedÅc I never had a chance. So anyway, now, IÅfm back in Kaminoyama and had some time to think about the things I saw in Hokkaido. So why was I amazed by the pastor? Essentially there were three things that really struck me about the pastorÅc Pastor Igarashi. First, his honesty was unheard of (from my perspective) from a Japanese pastor. He wasnÅft afraid to acknowledge his mistakes, spoke what was on his mind, and as a result, real dialog actually occurred. Perhaps not amazing by American standardsÅc to a point, but, it blew away all stereotypes in my mind of what a Japanese pastor is like. The second big thing that struck me about Igarashi-sensei was his incredible faith. He acknowledged that his church was small (14 current members) and that as a result resources are low, but said that because he knew that it is GodÅfs will for the church he pastors to plant another church 20 minutes away in a nearby town, it will happen. The thing is that when he said it, it wasnÅft one of those pie-in-the-sky kind of sayings that some Christians may say just for the sake of a positive outlook on things. He meant it, and his words were backed up by the sacrifices heÅfs not only willing to make, but wants to make to help make it happen. The third thing was his ministry style. It was actually team oriented! One thing IÅfve noticed about the Christian churches here in Japan has been that the pastor does everything. Sure elders/lay leaders exist, but pastors do all the work. Maybe it has something to do with the way the Japanese Buddhist temples work with the monks doing all the work and everybody else participating somewhat but all in all just sitting back as spectatorsÅc I dunno. But anyway, Pastor Igarashi was completely team oriented, and not just missionary and pastor team, but in his case at the current time without a missionary, he, his wife, his son, and his sonÅfs wife are the core leadership GROUP. During our meeting together, I asked Igarashi-sensei what his number one joy was in his three years of pastoring that specific church in Date. He replied not with number growth that heÅfs seen in the church, not with his own growth in spiritual leadership but, with the fact that heÅfs been able to work with his wife, his son, and his sonÅfs wife. In addition, he said that without the team, he wouldnÅft be able to do many of the things heÅfs doing right now. Coming from my perspective, knowing that IÅfm not going to be there forever, IÅfd like to know that IÅfll be joining a team of workers, not leading the charge through my entire time there.
So, to summarize, I had a good time, personally IÅfd like the opportunity to go there, but IÅfll wait for God to confirm through prayer.
On to other things! Just yesterday when I came back from Hokkaido, I got the care package from my home church, East Bay Free Meth. So, last night I watched the video inside that Charlie (friend and youth worker there) made of the Harvest Festival, Christmas program, Youth Mid-Winter Retreat, and random bits and pieces. As I was watching it and flipping through a scrapbook that Tomio (another friend and youth worker there) put together, I started to think, ÅgManÅc IÅfm so far away from home.Åh Maybe it was seeing all these familiar faces again. Maybe it was the music in the background. Maybe it was the encouraging words and faces. I guess you could call it getting hit with homesickness, but my testosterone wonÅft allow me to acknowledge it. Anyway, I sat thereÅc and I felt like God was saying to me ÅgYour home isnÅft East Bay Free Meth. Your home isnÅft where mama and daddy live. Your home is where I am in heaven.Åh And at that moment I was struck deep. I realized that back in California, I built an atmosphere of ÅghomeÅh in a place that isnÅft home at all. I valued my relationships with the people of ÅghomeÅh so much that it became superior to God in my heart. In other words, I acted like the greatest commandment is to love peopleÅc and the second is to love God. Put simply, on my priority list, friends are found above God. Not only that but I lost the eternal perspective. I forgot that my time on earth is limited while my time in heaven will be eternal. Also, my orientation was all messed up. I was thinking, ÅgMy home is here on earth, and sometime IÅfll move to heavenÅh rather than, ÅgI belong in heaven, but IÅfm, for the time being, spending some time on earth.Åh
So I got to wondering, ÅgWhy is it so rare for us Christians to feel homesick about heaven (our real home)?Åh Things that definitely make me go, ÅgHmmmm.Åh
So I never got around to explaining what I was talking about in my last entry. It was 1:58 AM when I startedÅc I never had a chance. So anyway, now, IÅfm back in Kaminoyama and had some time to think about the things I saw in Hokkaido. So why was I amazed by the pastor? Essentially there were three things that really struck me about the pastorÅc Pastor Igarashi. First, his honesty was unheard of (from my perspective) from a Japanese pastor. He wasnÅft afraid to acknowledge his mistakes, spoke what was on his mind, and as a result, real dialog actually occurred. Perhaps not amazing by American standardsÅc to a point, but, it blew away all stereotypes in my mind of what a Japanese pastor is like. The second big thing that struck me about Igarashi-sensei was his incredible faith. He acknowledged that his church was small (14 current members) and that as a result resources are low, but said that because he knew that it is GodÅfs will for the church he pastors to plant another church 20 minutes away in a nearby town, it will happen. The thing is that when he said it, it wasnÅft one of those pie-in-the-sky kind of sayings that some Christians may say just for the sake of a positive outlook on things. He meant it, and his words were backed up by the sacrifices heÅfs not only willing to make, but wants to make to help make it happen. The third thing was his ministry style. It was actually team oriented! One thing IÅfve noticed about the Christian churches here in Japan has been that the pastor does everything. Sure elders/lay leaders exist, but pastors do all the work. Maybe it has something to do with the way the Japanese Buddhist temples work with the monks doing all the work and everybody else participating somewhat but all in all just sitting back as spectatorsÅc I dunno. But anyway, Pastor Igarashi was completely team oriented, and not just missionary and pastor team, but in his case at the current time without a missionary, he, his wife, his son, and his sonÅfs wife are the core leadership GROUP. During our meeting together, I asked Igarashi-sensei what his number one joy was in his three years of pastoring that specific church in Date. He replied not with number growth that heÅfs seen in the church, not with his own growth in spiritual leadership but, with the fact that heÅfs been able to work with his wife, his son, and his sonÅfs wife. In addition, he said that without the team, he wouldnÅft be able to do many of the things heÅfs doing right now. Coming from my perspective, knowing that IÅfm not going to be there forever, IÅfd like to know that IÅfll be joining a team of workers, not leading the charge through my entire time there.
So, to summarize, I had a good time, personally IÅfd like the opportunity to go there, but IÅfll wait for God to confirm through prayer.
On to other things! Just yesterday when I came back from Hokkaido, I got the care package from my home church, East Bay Free Meth. So, last night I watched the video inside that Charlie (friend and youth worker there) made of the Harvest Festival, Christmas program, Youth Mid-Winter Retreat, and random bits and pieces. As I was watching it and flipping through a scrapbook that Tomio (another friend and youth worker there) put together, I started to think, ÅgManÅc IÅfm so far away from home.Åh Maybe it was seeing all these familiar faces again. Maybe it was the music in the background. Maybe it was the encouraging words and faces. I guess you could call it getting hit with homesickness, but my testosterone wonÅft allow me to acknowledge it. Anyway, I sat thereÅc and I felt like God was saying to me ÅgYour home isnÅft East Bay Free Meth. Your home isnÅft where mama and daddy live. Your home is where I am in heaven.Åh And at that moment I was struck deep. I realized that back in California, I built an atmosphere of ÅghomeÅh in a place that isnÅft home at all. I valued my relationships with the people of ÅghomeÅh so much that it became superior to God in my heart. In other words, I acted like the greatest commandment is to love peopleÅc and the second is to love God. Put simply, on my priority list, friends are found above God. Not only that but I lost the eternal perspective. I forgot that my time on earth is limited while my time in heaven will be eternal. Also, my orientation was all messed up. I was thinking, ÅgMy home is here on earth, and sometime IÅfll move to heavenÅh rather than, ÅgI belong in heaven, but IÅfm, for the time being, spending some time on earth.Åh
So I got to wondering, ÅgWhy is it so rare for us Christians to feel homesick about heaven (our real home)?Åh Things that definitely make me go, ÅgHmmmm.Åh
(From journal: February 19, 2002 12:40 AM)
On the 14th, I just ranted and ranted for I think two pages, but now, right before my one day trip to Hokkaido, I feel much more at ease. The things I ranted about are by no means miraculously resolved. They didnÅft just disappear. They are still very much issues I have to deal with here and now, but the sting is gone. Yesterday, a spiritual seeker, Tomoe, came to have dinner with the Itos, and for the first time ever, I think I witnessed what it looks like to proclaim the Word of God BOLDLY. After the dinner was over, Pastor Ito just laid down Biblical truths in a way that I thought was in no way ÅgJapanese.Åh But it didnÅft matter, she ate it up, testimonies were being shared (my lone contribution because of sheer amazement), and before I knew it, Pastor Ito led her to pray the believersÅf prayer. I was shocked. ÅgThatÅfs not the Japanese way of doing it,Åh I thought. ÅgWhat happened to the infamous Japanese process?Åh Guess it wasnÅft needed this time, and Pastor Ito was wise enough to see it at the moment. Amazing. ItÅfs always amazing to see someone accept Christ, but this time was different. I mean even by American standards, Pastor Ito was talking about the Gospel boldly. By any standards it was bold, I would think. So that whole incident put a lot of things in perspective.
On the 14th, I just ranted and ranted for I think two pages, but now, right before my one day trip to Hokkaido, I feel much more at ease. The things I ranted about are by no means miraculously resolved. They didnÅft just disappear. They are still very much issues I have to deal with here and now, but the sting is gone. Yesterday, a spiritual seeker, Tomoe, came to have dinner with the Itos, and for the first time ever, I think I witnessed what it looks like to proclaim the Word of God BOLDLY. After the dinner was over, Pastor Ito just laid down Biblical truths in a way that I thought was in no way ÅgJapanese.Åh But it didnÅft matter, she ate it up, testimonies were being shared (my lone contribution because of sheer amazement), and before I knew it, Pastor Ito led her to pray the believersÅf prayer. I was shocked. ÅgThatÅfs not the Japanese way of doing it,Åh I thought. ÅgWhat happened to the infamous Japanese process?Åh Guess it wasnÅft needed this time, and Pastor Ito was wise enough to see it at the moment. Amazing. ItÅfs always amazing to see someone accept Christ, but this time was different. I mean even by American standards, Pastor Ito was talking about the Gospel boldly. By any standards it was bold, I would think. So that whole incident put a lot of things in perspective.
Saturday, February 02, 2002
(From journal: January 29, 2002 11:37 PM)
These last few days have been eye opening. Among other things, Iím finally getting the answers I was hoping to get at the beginning of my stay here in this location. I always found it quite peculiar how this church, the Kaminoyama church is the only church from the first Yamagata project (ending 2000) who still has a LIFE missionary. Knowing the basic structure of how the LIFE system/program works, and how the missionaries go through a three year cycle staying with one church, and knowing that that three year cycle ended in 2000 for the Kaminoyama church, I always wondered how they managed to get missionaries afterwards. After asking a number of people, I finally pieced together what a church has to do in terms of preparation work to receive missionaries from LIFE MinistriesÅEone of them being a written time table of their specific church multiplication plan and the usage of the missionary toward that plan. Naturally the next question was what was the new plan considering that they probably can`t use the same reason as when they had the career missionaries over for the first project over the course of three years. Apparently, the plan was to launch a new cell group (to become a future church) from the parents of the children attending the children`s ministry timeÅEin the present case an English class. The missionary would provide the initial attendance of kids by teaching English, and thus start the plan. Somehow or other, that vision died before I came here (even though I`m still teaching that English class). And so, I`m caught in between, not doing what I`m supposed to be doing (helping plant a new church), but instead, keeping up certain programs with hopes that some of these people would come to Christ. A worthy cause no doubt, an effort many missionaries around the world are undergoing earnestly, but realistically speaking, I`m not staying much longerÅEmany of these programs will cease to exist after I leave, leaving quite possibly many of these people without any reason to continue to be connected to the church. It simply doesn`t seem like a good game plan to me.
Regardless, at the same time, I feel like I`m finally starting to make a semi long term contribution to the well being of the church and toward the goal of planting a new church. After leading one of the two cell groups for a number of weeks, just last Friday, I finished covering the material we were going over. Previous to the last Hideyo led cell group Bible study, I was beginning to wonder what the church was planning to do about this particular cell group after I was done. After all, the leadership knew how long the material was going to take, and knew that my commitment was for as long as the material lasted. Unfortunately, nobody seemed to want to talk to me about the soon upcoming problem. And so, fearing the worst, that they were expecting me to continue leading the Bible study (making the material up as we went along) without consulting me, I took the initiative after the last Hideyo led study to talk to the original leader of the cell group. To make a long story short, we went through the long process of vision casting, purpose seeking, and concrete decision-making for this particular cell group in one sitting in about 3 Ω hours. Thinking about it nowÅEnot only did God really guide that time, but He made sure that I was adequately equipped to be able to handle the job. Obviously, the hands on training that I got from doing that sort of thing with AACF (over and over again) helped tremendously. Also, not too long ago, I went to the LIFE sponsored Sharpening Your Interpersonal Skills workshop where one of the topics was helping others solve problems. With that still fresh in my mind, I was able to help the leader make all the decisions by herself, thus, having a more positive outlook on the ultimate decision. So anyway, the solution is easily reproducible by Japanese ChristiansÅEdoesn`t depend on missionary help, not leader-focused thus taking the weight off of the current leader`s shoulders, and provides the possibility for member growth. The leader`s happy, I`m happy, thinkinÅEthat God`s happy. We`ll see how it turns out. And that brings me to the last thing about the situationÅEI actually may get to see how it turns out considering that I still have about six weeks here.
These last few days have been eye opening. Among other things, Iím finally getting the answers I was hoping to get at the beginning of my stay here in this location. I always found it quite peculiar how this church, the Kaminoyama church is the only church from the first Yamagata project (ending 2000) who still has a LIFE missionary. Knowing the basic structure of how the LIFE system/program works, and how the missionaries go through a three year cycle staying with one church, and knowing that that three year cycle ended in 2000 for the Kaminoyama church, I always wondered how they managed to get missionaries afterwards. After asking a number of people, I finally pieced together what a church has to do in terms of preparation work to receive missionaries from LIFE MinistriesÅEone of them being a written time table of their specific church multiplication plan and the usage of the missionary toward that plan. Naturally the next question was what was the new plan considering that they probably can`t use the same reason as when they had the career missionaries over for the first project over the course of three years. Apparently, the plan was to launch a new cell group (to become a future church) from the parents of the children attending the children`s ministry timeÅEin the present case an English class. The missionary would provide the initial attendance of kids by teaching English, and thus start the plan. Somehow or other, that vision died before I came here (even though I`m still teaching that English class). And so, I`m caught in between, not doing what I`m supposed to be doing (helping plant a new church), but instead, keeping up certain programs with hopes that some of these people would come to Christ. A worthy cause no doubt, an effort many missionaries around the world are undergoing earnestly, but realistically speaking, I`m not staying much longerÅEmany of these programs will cease to exist after I leave, leaving quite possibly many of these people without any reason to continue to be connected to the church. It simply doesn`t seem like a good game plan to me.
Regardless, at the same time, I feel like I`m finally starting to make a semi long term contribution to the well being of the church and toward the goal of planting a new church. After leading one of the two cell groups for a number of weeks, just last Friday, I finished covering the material we were going over. Previous to the last Hideyo led cell group Bible study, I was beginning to wonder what the church was planning to do about this particular cell group after I was done. After all, the leadership knew how long the material was going to take, and knew that my commitment was for as long as the material lasted. Unfortunately, nobody seemed to want to talk to me about the soon upcoming problem. And so, fearing the worst, that they were expecting me to continue leading the Bible study (making the material up as we went along) without consulting me, I took the initiative after the last Hideyo led study to talk to the original leader of the cell group. To make a long story short, we went through the long process of vision casting, purpose seeking, and concrete decision-making for this particular cell group in one sitting in about 3 Ω hours. Thinking about it nowÅEnot only did God really guide that time, but He made sure that I was adequately equipped to be able to handle the job. Obviously, the hands on training that I got from doing that sort of thing with AACF (over and over again) helped tremendously. Also, not too long ago, I went to the LIFE sponsored Sharpening Your Interpersonal Skills workshop where one of the topics was helping others solve problems. With that still fresh in my mind, I was able to help the leader make all the decisions by herself, thus, having a more positive outlook on the ultimate decision. So anyway, the solution is easily reproducible by Japanese ChristiansÅEdoesn`t depend on missionary help, not leader-focused thus taking the weight off of the current leader`s shoulders, and provides the possibility for member growth. The leader`s happy, I`m happy, thinkinÅEthat God`s happy. We`ll see how it turns out. And that brings me to the last thing about the situationÅEI actually may get to see how it turns out considering that I still have about six weeks here.
Thursday, January 10, 2002
(From journal: December 27, 2001 10:22 PM)
I love how songs of worship can just serve as a reminder of how things really are. ÅgIÅfm forgiven because you were forsaken. IÅfm accepted, you were condemned. IÅfm alive and well, your spirit is within me because you died and rose again. Amazing love, how can it be that you my king would die for me. Amazing love, I know itÅfs true, itÅfs my joy to honor you. In all I do, I honor you.Åh Hearing this song, I was finally reminded of why I even came to the decision to come here. I thought I remembered yesterday as I was complaining and whining. ÅgIÅfm here to help save the people of Japan,Åh I would have said. And thatÅfs partly right as to my PURPOSE here. But itÅfs not the REASON why I decided to come here. ItÅfs funny how easily the most important things just slip out of my memory. My reason fuels my purpose, and so, they arenÅft one in the same. In case I ever forget again as to why IÅfm here in Japan and not in the comforts of my own home IÅfll lay it out straight right now. I case I ever ask myself, ÅgWhy am I here?Åh IÅfll have the answer right here. IÅfM HERE BECAUSE I LOVE JESUS.
I love how songs of worship can just serve as a reminder of how things really are. ÅgIÅfm forgiven because you were forsaken. IÅfm accepted, you were condemned. IÅfm alive and well, your spirit is within me because you died and rose again. Amazing love, how can it be that you my king would die for me. Amazing love, I know itÅfs true, itÅfs my joy to honor you. In all I do, I honor you.Åh Hearing this song, I was finally reminded of why I even came to the decision to come here. I thought I remembered yesterday as I was complaining and whining. ÅgIÅfm here to help save the people of Japan,Åh I would have said. And thatÅfs partly right as to my PURPOSE here. But itÅfs not the REASON why I decided to come here. ItÅfs funny how easily the most important things just slip out of my memory. My reason fuels my purpose, and so, they arenÅft one in the same. In case I ever forget again as to why IÅfm here in Japan and not in the comforts of my own home IÅfll lay it out straight right now. I case I ever ask myself, ÅgWhy am I here?Åh IÅfll have the answer right here. IÅfM HERE BECAUSE I LOVE JESUS.
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