(From journal: November 14, 2001 9:52 PM)
Things in terms of ministry have continued to be great. Spending time here, IÅfm beginning to not only see the seeds that have been planted by laborers past, but the buds in preparation for fruit as well. The Bible study with Dr. Koseki went alright. Sounded like he already heard most of the things we talked about. Well, with some exception. We talked about God the creator, and logically following, God the all-powerful. He had this indifferent look as I went through the notes and the Bible indicating such truths. He still had the same indifferent look as I talked about the possible evidence for a divine creator. But then, something seemed to click when we talked about the complexity of the eye and itÅfs possible evidence for a divine creator. With Dr. Koseki being an optometrist, it seemed to have relevance. And although I know that he wasnÅft completely sold on the idea of God the creator, he seemed like he was willing to at least give it some thought. And so, I challenged him to look at the evidence for itself, and look for the possibility that there might be some being greater than ourselves, who has the ability to create the world as we see it. Some would say that this truth isnÅft necessary in a seeker Bible study, that we should instead start with manÅfs sin, thus being followed with Jesus as the savior. But how can one believe in a God who can create miracles if they donÅft first believe in a God who can create one of the greatest miracles of all, the creation of everything. Especially for a man trained in the sciences, whoÅfs been taught that everything can be explained by science, an utter awe of the power of God is essential, an utter awe of God Himself is essential. Jesus in His lifetime and beyond did some incredible things that cannot be explained by scienceÅc and thus, scientists would immediately disregard Christianity based upon the unexplainable.
Anyways, yesterday, during the Bible study with the Yamadai Medical students, we had a breakthrough conversation. As usual we continued the study of RuthÅc but something different happened yesterday. After I asked my take away challenge question, one of the guys who just comes for the English practice asked a spiritually relevant question. I mean, usually after we finish the study, we go into a time of English conversational study, the reason why he comes at all. Needless to say, heÅfs not a believer, or a someone anybody would consider to be a seeker. But he was willing to put that time away for something he thought was more important. Anyway, in all honesty, he said that he disregards all religion because he sees them simply as functioning to explain the meaning of things. And since he doesnÅft really care why things happen the way they do, he doesnÅft believe religion applies to him. Very understandable. After some very long conversation about the implications of believing in Christ in terms of our life hereafter, we came to some conclusion. ItÅfs still a work in progress but we now have another seeker.
While all this stuff in ministry are going great, my own spiritual life is horrible. My times with God have been completely inconsistent. I hardly ever think of God. And I, at last realize that my spiritual life is completely lacking substance. Sure, I know the right things to talk about. I even know how to communicate some of these things to others through messages and Bible studies. I know all the right things to do. But being here, makes me realize that I so depend on words to communicate the Gospel. IÅfve long criticized people who quote St Francis of Assisi who said something to the effect of continually preaching the Gospel, and if possible use words. I donÅft criticize the quote itself, but more the people who use it as an out from preaching the Gospel in words. But in the midst of my criticism, IÅfve forgotten to look at the meaning of the quote itself. I always dismissed as being almost impossible because to communicate the Gospel without words is so incredibly difficult. And so, instead of taking the next step in trying earnestly to practice these wise words of St Francis of Assisi, IÅfve dismissed them as being too hard. How I always want the easy way out! Only here in Japan, where I canÅft completely articulate all my thoughts and feelings in words, do I realize how much I talk in comparison to the little that I do. I do so little that is of Christ, and my spiritual life is almost non-existant. And yet, the amazing things in ministry continue. Some would be satisfied in saying that this is GodÅfs way of bringing glory to Himself, making sure that I donÅft bring the glory to myself thinking that because of my incredible personal holiness I have made things come into fruition. But I wonderÅc seeing how the multitudes followed Jesus after seeing His deeds, how much more effective could I be in terms of Kingdom work if I was on fire for GodÅc and thus, doing so much more than saying. At least now, I hungerÅc for more. Perhaps this will be the beginning.