(From journal: February 21, 2002 10:07 PM)
So I never got around to explaining what I was talking about in my last entry. It was 1:58 AM when I startedÅc I never had a chance. So anyway, now, IÅfm back in Kaminoyama and had some time to think about the things I saw in Hokkaido. So why was I amazed by the pastor? Essentially there were three things that really struck me about the pastorÅc Pastor Igarashi. First, his honesty was unheard of (from my perspective) from a Japanese pastor. He wasnÅft afraid to acknowledge his mistakes, spoke what was on his mind, and as a result, real dialog actually occurred. Perhaps not amazing by American standardsÅc to a point, but, it blew away all stereotypes in my mind of what a Japanese pastor is like. The second big thing that struck me about Igarashi-sensei was his incredible faith. He acknowledged that his church was small (14 current members) and that as a result resources are low, but said that because he knew that it is GodÅfs will for the church he pastors to plant another church 20 minutes away in a nearby town, it will happen. The thing is that when he said it, it wasnÅft one of those pie-in-the-sky kind of sayings that some Christians may say just for the sake of a positive outlook on things. He meant it, and his words were backed up by the sacrifices heÅfs not only willing to make, but wants to make to help make it happen. The third thing was his ministry style. It was actually team oriented! One thing IÅfve noticed about the Christian churches here in Japan has been that the pastor does everything. Sure elders/lay leaders exist, but pastors do all the work. Maybe it has something to do with the way the Japanese Buddhist temples work with the monks doing all the work and everybody else participating somewhat but all in all just sitting back as spectatorsÅc I dunno. But anyway, Pastor Igarashi was completely team oriented, and not just missionary and pastor team, but in his case at the current time without a missionary, he, his wife, his son, and his sonÅfs wife are the core leadership GROUP. During our meeting together, I asked Igarashi-sensei what his number one joy was in his three years of pastoring that specific church in Date. He replied not with number growth that heÅfs seen in the church, not with his own growth in spiritual leadership but, with the fact that heÅfs been able to work with his wife, his son, and his sonÅfs wife. In addition, he said that without the team, he wouldnÅft be able to do many of the things heÅfs doing right now. Coming from my perspective, knowing that IÅfm not going to be there forever, IÅfd like to know that IÅfll be joining a team of workers, not leading the charge through my entire time there.
So, to summarize, I had a good time, personally IÅfd like the opportunity to go there, but IÅfll wait for God to confirm through prayer.
On to other things! Just yesterday when I came back from Hokkaido, I got the care package from my home church, East Bay Free Meth. So, last night I watched the video inside that Charlie (friend and youth worker there) made of the Harvest Festival, Christmas program, Youth Mid-Winter Retreat, and random bits and pieces. As I was watching it and flipping through a scrapbook that Tomio (another friend and youth worker there) put together, I started to think, ÅgManÅc IÅfm so far away from home.Åh Maybe it was seeing all these familiar faces again. Maybe it was the music in the background. Maybe it was the encouraging words and faces. I guess you could call it getting hit with homesickness, but my testosterone wonÅft allow me to acknowledge it. Anyway, I sat thereÅc and I felt like God was saying to me ÅgYour home isnÅft East Bay Free Meth. Your home isnÅft where mama and daddy live. Your home is where I am in heaven.Åh And at that moment I was struck deep. I realized that back in California, I built an atmosphere of ÅghomeÅh in a place that isnÅft home at all. I valued my relationships with the people of ÅghomeÅh so much that it became superior to God in my heart. In other words, I acted like the greatest commandment is to love peopleÅc and the second is to love God. Put simply, on my priority list, friends are found above God. Not only that but I lost the eternal perspective. I forgot that my time on earth is limited while my time in heaven will be eternal. Also, my orientation was all messed up. I was thinking, ÅgMy home is here on earth, and sometime IÅfll move to heavenÅh rather than, ÅgI belong in heaven, but IÅfm, for the time being, spending some time on earth.Åh
So I got to wondering, ÅgWhy is it so rare for us Christians to feel homesick about heaven (our real home)?Åh Things that definitely make me go, ÅgHmmmm.Åh