Just started on seminary apps. Crazy stuff. When I first got em a few weeks ago, I sorta hid em because they were scary. Ok ok. I didn't "sorta" hide them. I really hid them. Away into the abyss between books on my bookshelf.

Why so scary? Well, for the last 3 or 4 years, I haven't known specifically "what I'm going to do when I grow up." Sure, in that 4 year span... the beginning was pretty scary. All of a sudden, the goal of "gettin' my learn on" got a little cloudy. But, with time the uncertainty became my friend. I got used to it. It became the norm. And soon, the uncertainty transformed into something else. It transformed into freedom. Ch-chur-chur-chur-chi. That's the sound of a Transformer transforming.

In taking this step in applying, it almost feels like I'm losing that friend. Maybe it's the whole committing to a set path thing that was giving me a small case of the heebie-jeebies.

Now, I'm getting a major case of the heebie-jeebies because I gotta write a couple of essays. A person a couple of years removed from living in an English speaking country is expected to write an essay in English! Oy. It'd be so much easier if I could write the essays in Hideyoese, a personal mix of Japanese and English. Demo shikataganai yo ne.