Yesterday marked a monumental day in the life of Hideyo Satake in Japan. I ate a real beef hot dog with ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut, relish, and sliced jalepeno peppers. To show just how monumental this is, lemme document my journey to this amazing day.

Months #1-7:
Hideyo doesn't eat a single hot dog. The thought never occurs to him because he's still living it up with all the Japanese food he gets... minus the pickled flower petals and candied locusts of course.

Month #8:
Hideyo sees what he thinks are hot dogs at the local grocery store. Hideyo then remembers the joys of eating hot dogs and puts the pack in his basket. In preparation for watching Planet of the Apes (the one with Marky Mark), Hideyo decides to fry up a dog. Hideyo immediately notices that the dog is turning gold on the outside. Concerned, Hideyo takes a knife and cuts it open. Hideyo notices that he forgot to take the plastic casing off the dog (even though he already removed one layer of plastic from the dog). He fries another one, this time taking the casing off. He puts it in a normal slice of bread, pours ketchup and mustard on it. But it tastes funny. Hideyo describes the situation to his English class that night. All the students laugh hysterically because they all know that what Hideyo ate wasn't a hot dog at all... but a fish sausage. Hideyo proceeds to toss the fish sausages away.

Month #11:
Hideyo finds sauerkraut. And real hot dogs! Hideyo goes nut-zo. After a long car drive back home... he consumes 3 hot dogs with ketchup, mustard, and kraut in one sitting. It is at this time that he realizes the extreme importance of relish on a hot dog.

Month #13:
Hideyo not only finds relish but he also finds jalepeno peppers! But the search continues for hot dog buns...